So as not to offend Ultra by spending too much time engaged in real, spoken conversation, I've decided to bring one of my more recent verbal discussions to the blog. Too bad no one's still reading to weigh in.
Anyway, here it is:
Can love...last?
On second thought, maybe I shoulda warmed you guys up with a softball...like "Newcastle or Sam Adams?"
Answer either.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
There's no better time...
...than the present. I keep saying I'll post, so I'll do it now while I eat my dinner.
I've had this dream the last few nights that really troubles me. I'm in a house with a wall full of windows overlooking a stand of trees in the fall, the leaves about to drop. But it's not a house, per se...it's a doctor's office. At first glance, I think it's a pediatrician's office, with all the kids running around and what not. So I go in to see the doctor, and she's about my age. I undergo the physical and sit and await the results. Outside, I can hear kids laughing and playing under the window.
The doctor comes back. She tells me everything is fine and that in about a year I'll get pregnant, but I'm not privileged enough to choose my child. Turns out, all the children I hear, have yet to be born...they're waiting for fit mothers and the right situations. Somehow I know this in the dream, however. Anyway, she tells me that I get no say in the matter, and she points out the child I'm going to have. He's about 6 years old at this point, and looks just like a friend of mine. That prompts me to ask a few questions...is he healthy? is he happy? Who will the father be? She answers my questions and I leave the office.
As I walk out the door, my son-to-be runs right into my leg and looks up at me. He doesn't just look like my friend - he IS my friend...articulate as the adult I know. He scowls at me and asks what I've done wrong that he has to wait so long. I don't have an answer and I break down in tears. He berates me for not being ready now, and not being the mother he thinks I could be, and for even being there, wanting a child in the first place. My only response...."I want you, but I don't want your father" He replies, "Good, because I didn't want to be yours anyway."
I turn away bawling, and notice all my friends...in the office and visibly pregnant. Each one turns her back on me as I approach. Most have no comment...only one says "Your child doesn't want you? After everything you've been through? You must be an evil witch." I pull out a cell phone and call the man the doctor said would be the father. He hangs up on me. I sit on a swing and start to cry.
Suddenly, I feel an arm around my shoulders. It's the man whose name I hoped the doctor was going to say when I asked the question. He runs his fingers through my hair as I tell my story, laying out exactly how it's not going to happen because now that I know I can take evasive action. He says, "Some things you just can't avoid, and avoiding this would cost a life."
"Would you be with me?" I ask. "Could you stand me long enough to make a good home?"
"No," he says. "I can't. You're a sweet girl and all, but I can't play with fire like that. It's why you're here--You've been given a look into your future, and there are two choices. Accept what's been shown you, or turn it down for a life of solitude."
"But it wouldn't be solitude if we're together," I say.
"You're right...but you're just not worth it to me. Thanks for asking, though," he says and walks away. That's usually when I wake up, often in tears.
Like I said, kinda strange. That said, I've also been sick.
I have places to be..maybe when I get home I'll look it up in the dream dictionaries. It's just hard to find a translation for "future pregnancy"
I've had this dream the last few nights that really troubles me. I'm in a house with a wall full of windows overlooking a stand of trees in the fall, the leaves about to drop. But it's not a house, per se...it's a doctor's office. At first glance, I think it's a pediatrician's office, with all the kids running around and what not. So I go in to see the doctor, and she's about my age. I undergo the physical and sit and await the results. Outside, I can hear kids laughing and playing under the window.
The doctor comes back. She tells me everything is fine and that in about a year I'll get pregnant, but I'm not privileged enough to choose my child. Turns out, all the children I hear, have yet to be born...they're waiting for fit mothers and the right situations. Somehow I know this in the dream, however. Anyway, she tells me that I get no say in the matter, and she points out the child I'm going to have. He's about 6 years old at this point, and looks just like a friend of mine. That prompts me to ask a few questions...is he healthy? is he happy? Who will the father be? She answers my questions and I leave the office.
As I walk out the door, my son-to-be runs right into my leg and looks up at me. He doesn't just look like my friend - he IS my friend...articulate as the adult I know. He scowls at me and asks what I've done wrong that he has to wait so long. I don't have an answer and I break down in tears. He berates me for not being ready now, and not being the mother he thinks I could be, and for even being there, wanting a child in the first place. My only response...."I want you, but I don't want your father" He replies, "Good, because I didn't want to be yours anyway."
I turn away bawling, and notice all my friends...in the office and visibly pregnant. Each one turns her back on me as I approach. Most have no comment...only one says "Your child doesn't want you? After everything you've been through? You must be an evil witch." I pull out a cell phone and call the man the doctor said would be the father. He hangs up on me. I sit on a swing and start to cry.
Suddenly, I feel an arm around my shoulders. It's the man whose name I hoped the doctor was going to say when I asked the question. He runs his fingers through my hair as I tell my story, laying out exactly how it's not going to happen because now that I know I can take evasive action. He says, "Some things you just can't avoid, and avoiding this would cost a life."
"Would you be with me?" I ask. "Could you stand me long enough to make a good home?"
"No," he says. "I can't. You're a sweet girl and all, but I can't play with fire like that. It's why you're here--You've been given a look into your future, and there are two choices. Accept what's been shown you, or turn it down for a life of solitude."
"But it wouldn't be solitude if we're together," I say.
"You're right...but you're just not worth it to me. Thanks for asking, though," he says and walks away. That's usually when I wake up, often in tears.
Like I said, kinda strange. That said, I've also been sick.
I have places to be..maybe when I get home I'll look it up in the dream dictionaries. It's just hard to find a translation for "future pregnancy"
I suck
Okay, you know it's been way too long since posting when blog-readers have to track you down and ask if you're blogging around on them. No, I've not blogged anyone else. I'm not blogging behind your back. I've simply, in the past, used this space as a place to pontificate and lately, there have been a few pair of ears who wanted to hear my thoughts. So I've been doing more speaking than writing....and it's taken away from my time to connect with the written word.
To the faithful who still read here, I apologize. I've likely run you all off anyway. However, I promised two posts within a week. A slightly longer vacation than I anticipated allowed me to miss that deadline. However, I'll post again soon. And sooner. And sooner.
After all, these conversations have led me to a number of questions to pose. Some rhetorical, some just damn funny. And some random observations to make...no wonder a friend tried to register "random" as part of a domain name for me.
Talk to you all soon. I hope.
To the faithful who still read here, I apologize. I've likely run you all off anyway. However, I promised two posts within a week. A slightly longer vacation than I anticipated allowed me to miss that deadline. However, I'll post again soon. And sooner. And sooner.
After all, these conversations have led me to a number of questions to pose. Some rhetorical, some just damn funny. And some random observations to make...no wonder a friend tried to register "random" as part of a domain name for me.
Talk to you all soon. I hope.
Monday, January 01, 2007
The name is Bond...James Bond
Imagine yourself as a Bond girl because 0-0-7 is upon us. And just as it is for a Bond girl...it promises to be a thrilling ride full of intrigue, adventure, breath-taking moments, and sleepless nights. It could make your heart race if you choose to enage yourself, becoming intertwined with its most intimate workings.....or if you let it pass you by, leave you plagued with ennui while 007 races off to thwart another villain.
No matter which Bond girl you are....or which Bond you prefer.....here's hoping 007 ends like a Bond movie - with the hero and heroine safe on the other side (usually between some satin sheets in a remote location with a martini and little else between them)
Happy New Year to all!
***Edited to add: The questions are pouring in, and if forced to choose, I'd have to say I'm Carey Lowell in A License to Kill or Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough.... And Roger Moore was the best traditional Bond, although I do enjoy Pierce Brosnan TREMENDOUSLY!
No matter which Bond girl you are....or which Bond you prefer.....here's hoping 007 ends like a Bond movie - with the hero and heroine safe on the other side (usually between some satin sheets in a remote location with a martini and little else between them)
Happy New Year to all!
***Edited to add: The questions are pouring in, and if forced to choose, I'd have to say I'm Carey Lowell in A License to Kill or Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough.... And Roger Moore was the best traditional Bond, although I do enjoy Pierce Brosnan TREMENDOUSLY!
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