Monday, March 31, 2008

This is a Test....

This is a test. This is only a test of the Emergency Blogging System. Were this an actual blogging, the ton....


This is a real post?


Ok, ok, ok... I'm back. Back by popular demand in the true sense of popular, cause there weren't THAT many people clamoring for my return, but those who were, are damn persuasive!

In the time we've been apart, dear readers, life has taken a few twists and turns and careened around more than a few corners. Even so, we're still here. You, me, the blogosphere. It's all still here, as much as there are times we wish it all away. As much as there are times we want to close our eyes and wake up in someone else's life. It, and we, are still here.

That said, I managed to distill some thoughts from the swirly morass that substitutes for my brain at times.

Ever looked at a skein of yarn? See all the different layers and twists, but if you pull from the wrong spot, it creates tension, and you can't separate the parts as they collapse on themselves and tie themselves in knots. However, find the one true strand and pull one of the ends, and voila, it all separates like it was intended to, and can be fashioned into whatsoever you please, and it can be done as you go instead of having to pull it all, untie it, and then begin your work.

I haven't found my "true end" yet, but I'm getting very close - and have a great idea of what it looks like. In the end, I'm a simple person, one who is looking for a few things, but things that are quite important to me:

I need love, but I'm not willing to ask for it. I need someone who loves as I do - giving, and considerate as a baseline, not as a tool by which to impress. He has it.

I desire respect, and I'm willing to earn it. Work to gain it, and work to keep it. I will not take it for granted.

I want to be challenged, and I'm willing to seek that out. Wherever it takes me. I can always turn it down, but it's not my decision to make if I don't go after it to start with.

I want to live, not by someone else's rules, but by my own. And if that means I'm an eccentric who turns into a fuddy duddy on certain topics, sobeit.

So why, then, do I find myself constantly drawn to those men and women who don't allow me to live this way? And how long until the one who does let me, will be in a position to let me.?

End of test. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog-reading.