Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Auction, part 2

Thanks for asking - the auction was a disappointment, mostly because of a lack of advertising. The auction house we used didn't send out their direct mailings, and even told regulars not to come. Add in a flash flood warning, and a faltering economy, and the fact that the auction house turned away donors, and it was not a pretty sight.

The good news is that we did make a little money, so at least all the effort didn't send us into the red.

Absolutes... that aren't

I was always brought up to believe that there are a few absolutes in this world. Not too many, mind you, but a handful by which most everyone lives their lives and that, if I adopted as my moral constitution, would be the proper way to live in society without being a selfish person. I'm not talking religious beliefs - I was brought up to recognize the similarities between faiths and recognize those basic tenets they share as the basis for living a good and positive life. Don't kill is a pretty simple one that I've been able to follow without problem. Don't steal is pretty easy too.

My issue these days comes when I'm talking basic humanity. Be kind to others. Take their interests into account. Respect your elders. Don't intentionally hurt anyone, be it physically or emotionally. Put the needs of your loved one first. These, I was taught, would always be respected. Act in this way, in the interest of others, especially the interest of those whom you love, and forgiveness and understanding are always possible should you make a mistake.

That doesn't seem to be the case right now.

I've spent the last year and a half acting in what I saw as the best interest of one I love. He doesn't agree. But I can't tell you where he quit agreeing and decided that I wasn't forgiveable any more... or at least that I didn't deserve his care and affection and love anymore.

All I can do is ask his forgiveness and hope that he will see that my feelings haven't changed, and have even grown, because in not knowing his mindset toward me was what was changing in his life, my feelings continued to grow. I actually saw encouragement in his actions and now have been crashed onto the pavement, locked out and left to wait for him to decide whether I deserve a place in his life.

So I wait. And wonder what ever happened to the absolutes I was taught as a child. And decide that even the absolutes of life... aren't. Just wish I hadn't had to lose to learn this lesson.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Wish me Luck!

The time-sink known as a charity auction I've been organizing for the last three months is only hours away. Preview starts at 2, bidding at 4 and all over with by 5:30. Wow... hard to believe that 3 months of work will be over with, evaluated, and wrapped up in an hour and a half. It's been laden with drama, but next time, we won't get caught off guard by jumping in mid-stream. Then I can get back to living my OWN drama-laden life. Ugh.

Anywho, this is the major fundraiser for three animal rescues that are being flooded with applications now that the economy is turning downard. Wish us luck.

Friday, June 13, 2008

It's Official...

.. I'm Carrie. Definitely Carrie. My Facebook quiz says it, my friends all say it, and now, after seeing the Sex and the City movie last night, I have to agree.

So if I'm Carrie Bradshaw, who's Mr. Big? I've discovered in recent weeks that I'm the kind of person who obviously inspires men to make "grand gestures" then leave my life. Another one appears to be laying the groundwork to leave right now. Each one, in his own way, exhibiting that "big" love, then departing. So which one gets to be Mr. Big? Cause right now, I'm crumbling and all I want is the happy ending.