Solitude

I feel like talking to someone, but I don't know to whom. I feel like writing, but I don't know what to say.

It's been a long weekend. After I left a party on Friday night, the next time my phone rang was early this morning... a good friend letting me know his father had taken a turn for the worse. Then again, time to time today, with updates. But no one else until my (still feels strange to call him my) ex called this evening. Were it not for a tragedy, no one would have tried to contact me except someone who doesn't want me.

Don't get me wrong - I got a lot done on the charity event I'm working on. And I sat on the couch and crocheted quite a bit. But tonight I feel remarkably unsettled. I feel like there's something amiss and I can't put a finger on it. In part with me, because I know there are two people I should call tonight and I don't feel up to being someone else's rock or putting on a cheery face tonight. And in part with someone who I know was going through a life change this weekend and hasn't called to keep me in the loop. Not that I have to know everything mind you... just that, well, no news is supposed to be good news, but I'm the paranoid type when predictable people waiver from their patterns. So now I'm unsettled.

Add to that I'm very aware this weekend of being alone. I'd rather be single than be in a bad relationship (not that I have been, just saying I'm not one of those women for whom ANYTHING is better than NOTHING), but sometimes I want that comfort. I want that kindness. I'm just not in the mood for the whole "getting to know you" deal. I don't find myself interested in the sparks flying of beginning a relationship. I just want someone, male OR female, with whom I can be me. Sit on the couch, lean on them, not bear the burdens myself kind of "me." A male would be preferable, as it would be nice to be able to lean into them and fall asleep, but at this point I'd take the female companionship that goes beyond just listening.

Anyway, end of venting. I had a few things this week I wanted to post about, but didn't get to. I promise, a vent on the Supreme Court at some point this week.

Thanks for listening. I'm still paranoid, and still unsettled, but still - I needed that.

Barenaked Ladies, This One's For You

No, not porn stars.... the wacky Canadian group. You know, BNL... "If I had a million dollars..."

In honor of Tax Day here in America, a sentence for you to finish:

If I won the lottery, I would . . .

I'll start:

If I won the lottery, I would work until I knew what I was going to do with the money. I would travel for a year, and bring friends with me who would appreciate where we were going and enjoy what we saw. I would go to law school. I would set aside money for my kids for college (even though I don't have them yet). I would buy myself an historic home and renovate it. I would buy season tickets to all the local theater groups.

See... I think small. And you?

The Mouse in the Sky Keeps on Clickin'

It's a long way to go for the post title, but I'll get there. Just bear with me.

So I'm driving home this weekend from a road trip, and I had a thought. With plenty of time to develop it, it turned into a stream of thoughts.

The argument could be made that America's form of democracy has outlived its usefulness.

Let me insert a disclaimer here - I'm proud to be an American, even though my name is NOT Lee Greenwood. I'm not saying that we should scrap democracy, but 200 years is a long time for one form of government in these times where we've seen so many developments in just the last generation. This as compared to a time when multiple generations could go by without significant technological advancements. Athens could not support a direct democracy after growing to a critical size - I'm just suggesting we tweak a bit.

We have already proven in 2000 that the electoral college is flawed, and in 2004 the impact that modern communication technology can have on the outcome of an election. This year, the close race on both sides of the ballot, and the fact that one of them will come down to superdelegates, proves that America has outgrown a primary calendar and staggered votes. Or at least the idea that those early voters are indeed a representative sample of the populace and will choose what the nation would choose.

In a word, it comes down to technology. Technology has finally allowed us to catch up with democracy. All the safeguards built into the Constitution can now be negated. The time between Election Day and the Inauguration covered time for the electoral college to travel to cast their ballots. That can now happen in a day, without travel. The electoral college was established to protect the nation from an uninformed electorate. That was a day when not everyone could read, and word traveled by horseback. Not so, these days. Education is a basic right and infomation is disseminated with the click-clack of a keyboard. Anyone who wants to be even more informed can seek it out for themselves, from one of a number of sources.

Tradition can go by the wayside as well - candidates can get their message out with the telephone, the television, and most importantly, the internet. Online forums replace debates in some cases, as candidates can participate from anywhere as long as they have broadband or wireless. Therefore, why do they need to fall back on the idea of a scheduled set of primaries, focusing on a set of states that, in actuality, do not provide a representative sample of the American public. Yet we maintain that system, with a nominee decided by Super Tuesday, and those states who fall after that date having no say in the selection process, whether they like the nominees or not.

The closeness of the race this year underscores that point. The fact that the Democratic race could come down to the final primaries and even, perhaps, the superdelegates, shows that the entire electorate deserves a voice, and not a less-than-scientific sample established mainly bu tradition.

These thoughts were swirling in my head when I found this article from the Washington Post. A Click-ocracy! How perfect! Opinions, information, and social circles, all transmitted by internet. Point, click, live a life unfettered - all online. Could "Vote" be next?

The Mouse in the Sky Keeps on Clickin'.....
Don't know what I'll read tomorrow...

See... isn't Journey awesome???

purrrrrr

This post derailed by a beautiful black cat who wants my hands on her and not the keyboard.

More deep thoughts to come tomorrow....