Unspoken thoughts

There are things I want to know, but you never want to have the conversation unless it's on your terms. And your terms always seem to come at times when I'm making overtures to try and meet you somewhere in the middle.

Why do you do this? Do you KNOW you're doing this? This one-two blow of assurance followed by what I can only describe as sabotage?

You wonder why I trust no one, and you turn around and execute the same actions you've said you wouldn't do. Case in point - you know I have trust issues, so you ask if I trust you. I turn over a small yet oh so important piece of my freedom and let you drive. We're not 2 miles from my house and what do you do? You trigger the flight reflex, starting a conversation that kills the joy of the evening before it's even begun. If you wouldn't have considered it "drama" I was about to give you the money for my drink and walk home to get my car.

And this wasn't the first time. Why does this happen? I find someone who says I can trust them, who says they won't act like everyone else has. You drove right by the "Last Exit to Rockville" sign, only to try to make your own a few miles later where there is no road. Not once, but twice. You know what this does to me, right? It makes me less likely to open up, more likely to resist your next attempts, to doubt you when you say you wouldn't do something.

This is why I tried to show you the door, and kept pushing. Now I believe you, but you want to leave? You have my trust. Do with it what you will.