It's midnight as I start to write and I really have nothing to write about. However, with the time change today, it only FEELS like 11pm and I'm not tired. So instead, I'll sit down and start plugging away. Perhaps this will turn into something worth reading or maybe it will just be drivel, but I've got to get back in the habit of writing when I feel like this.
It's been a depressing day, so I don't want to go there. And I figure you guys could care less about the random thoughts swirling in my head right now... I know - I'll answer the tagging that Farrago hit me with....Five little known facts about myself. The flip side - five bloggers to tag - won't be happening because I've been such an unknown in the blogosphere of late that I don't even have five addresses (that's what happens when you have to rebuild your computer from the hard drive up. Ugh!)
Let's see...what to tell you...Farrago, don't be offended if I catapult off of your admissions.
1) Like any good teenager of the 80s, I sported a mouth full of orthodontia for two and a half years. The glorious day finally came - my orthodontist removed the hardware and made impressions for retainers to keep the teeth where they belonged. In the two days it took to get the retainer made, my teeth went right back to where they were two years before. Another sign of my stubbornness.
2) Were it not for computers, I wouldn't be a writer. My handwriting is abysmal, and typewriters gave me writer's block from looking at all my failures and bad ideas.
3) I didn't get into the habit of drinking alcohol until I was a year and a half out of college.
4) I used to smoke clove cigarettes in college. That lasted about 6 months until they started making me sick.
5) I've read Dangerous Liasons in the original French.
Okay - who next....Flash, have you done this? Ultra? Scott?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Today's Rhetorical question
So as not to offend Ultra by spending too much time engaged in real, spoken conversation, I've decided to bring one of my more recent verbal discussions to the blog. Too bad no one's still reading to weigh in.
Anyway, here it is:
Can love...last?
On second thought, maybe I shoulda warmed you guys up with a softball...like "Newcastle or Sam Adams?"
Answer either.
Anyway, here it is:
Can love...last?
On second thought, maybe I shoulda warmed you guys up with a softball...like "Newcastle or Sam Adams?"
Answer either.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
There's no better time...
...than the present. I keep saying I'll post, so I'll do it now while I eat my dinner.
I've had this dream the last few nights that really troubles me. I'm in a house with a wall full of windows overlooking a stand of trees in the fall, the leaves about to drop. But it's not a house, per se...it's a doctor's office. At first glance, I think it's a pediatrician's office, with all the kids running around and what not. So I go in to see the doctor, and she's about my age. I undergo the physical and sit and await the results. Outside, I can hear kids laughing and playing under the window.
The doctor comes back. She tells me everything is fine and that in about a year I'll get pregnant, but I'm not privileged enough to choose my child. Turns out, all the children I hear, have yet to be born...they're waiting for fit mothers and the right situations. Somehow I know this in the dream, however. Anyway, she tells me that I get no say in the matter, and she points out the child I'm going to have. He's about 6 years old at this point, and looks just like a friend of mine. That prompts me to ask a few questions...is he healthy? is he happy? Who will the father be? She answers my questions and I leave the office.
As I walk out the door, my son-to-be runs right into my leg and looks up at me. He doesn't just look like my friend - he IS my friend...articulate as the adult I know. He scowls at me and asks what I've done wrong that he has to wait so long. I don't have an answer and I break down in tears. He berates me for not being ready now, and not being the mother he thinks I could be, and for even being there, wanting a child in the first place. My only response...."I want you, but I don't want your father" He replies, "Good, because I didn't want to be yours anyway."
I turn away bawling, and notice all my friends...in the office and visibly pregnant. Each one turns her back on me as I approach. Most have no comment...only one says "Your child doesn't want you? After everything you've been through? You must be an evil witch." I pull out a cell phone and call the man the doctor said would be the father. He hangs up on me. I sit on a swing and start to cry.
Suddenly, I feel an arm around my shoulders. It's the man whose name I hoped the doctor was going to say when I asked the question. He runs his fingers through my hair as I tell my story, laying out exactly how it's not going to happen because now that I know I can take evasive action. He says, "Some things you just can't avoid, and avoiding this would cost a life."
"Would you be with me?" I ask. "Could you stand me long enough to make a good home?"
"No," he says. "I can't. You're a sweet girl and all, but I can't play with fire like that. It's why you're here--You've been given a look into your future, and there are two choices. Accept what's been shown you, or turn it down for a life of solitude."
"But it wouldn't be solitude if we're together," I say.
"You're right...but you're just not worth it to me. Thanks for asking, though," he says and walks away. That's usually when I wake up, often in tears.
Like I said, kinda strange. That said, I've also been sick.
I have places to be..maybe when I get home I'll look it up in the dream dictionaries. It's just hard to find a translation for "future pregnancy"
I've had this dream the last few nights that really troubles me. I'm in a house with a wall full of windows overlooking a stand of trees in the fall, the leaves about to drop. But it's not a house, per se...it's a doctor's office. At first glance, I think it's a pediatrician's office, with all the kids running around and what not. So I go in to see the doctor, and she's about my age. I undergo the physical and sit and await the results. Outside, I can hear kids laughing and playing under the window.
The doctor comes back. She tells me everything is fine and that in about a year I'll get pregnant, but I'm not privileged enough to choose my child. Turns out, all the children I hear, have yet to be born...they're waiting for fit mothers and the right situations. Somehow I know this in the dream, however. Anyway, she tells me that I get no say in the matter, and she points out the child I'm going to have. He's about 6 years old at this point, and looks just like a friend of mine. That prompts me to ask a few questions...is he healthy? is he happy? Who will the father be? She answers my questions and I leave the office.
As I walk out the door, my son-to-be runs right into my leg and looks up at me. He doesn't just look like my friend - he IS my friend...articulate as the adult I know. He scowls at me and asks what I've done wrong that he has to wait so long. I don't have an answer and I break down in tears. He berates me for not being ready now, and not being the mother he thinks I could be, and for even being there, wanting a child in the first place. My only response...."I want you, but I don't want your father" He replies, "Good, because I didn't want to be yours anyway."
I turn away bawling, and notice all my friends...in the office and visibly pregnant. Each one turns her back on me as I approach. Most have no comment...only one says "Your child doesn't want you? After everything you've been through? You must be an evil witch." I pull out a cell phone and call the man the doctor said would be the father. He hangs up on me. I sit on a swing and start to cry.
Suddenly, I feel an arm around my shoulders. It's the man whose name I hoped the doctor was going to say when I asked the question. He runs his fingers through my hair as I tell my story, laying out exactly how it's not going to happen because now that I know I can take evasive action. He says, "Some things you just can't avoid, and avoiding this would cost a life."
"Would you be with me?" I ask. "Could you stand me long enough to make a good home?"
"No," he says. "I can't. You're a sweet girl and all, but I can't play with fire like that. It's why you're here--You've been given a look into your future, and there are two choices. Accept what's been shown you, or turn it down for a life of solitude."
"But it wouldn't be solitude if we're together," I say.
"You're right...but you're just not worth it to me. Thanks for asking, though," he says and walks away. That's usually when I wake up, often in tears.
Like I said, kinda strange. That said, I've also been sick.
I have places to be..maybe when I get home I'll look it up in the dream dictionaries. It's just hard to find a translation for "future pregnancy"
I suck
Okay, you know it's been way too long since posting when blog-readers have to track you down and ask if you're blogging around on them. No, I've not blogged anyone else. I'm not blogging behind your back. I've simply, in the past, used this space as a place to pontificate and lately, there have been a few pair of ears who wanted to hear my thoughts. So I've been doing more speaking than writing....and it's taken away from my time to connect with the written word.
To the faithful who still read here, I apologize. I've likely run you all off anyway. However, I promised two posts within a week. A slightly longer vacation than I anticipated allowed me to miss that deadline. However, I'll post again soon. And sooner. And sooner.
After all, these conversations have led me to a number of questions to pose. Some rhetorical, some just damn funny. And some random observations to make...no wonder a friend tried to register "random" as part of a domain name for me.
Talk to you all soon. I hope.
To the faithful who still read here, I apologize. I've likely run you all off anyway. However, I promised two posts within a week. A slightly longer vacation than I anticipated allowed me to miss that deadline. However, I'll post again soon. And sooner. And sooner.
After all, these conversations have led me to a number of questions to pose. Some rhetorical, some just damn funny. And some random observations to make...no wonder a friend tried to register "random" as part of a domain name for me.
Talk to you all soon. I hope.
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