I am in a very unenviable position right now. I have to give someone my honest opinion, and I have to pick my words carefully, because it's something he won't want to hear.
He came to me yesterday and said he thinks he's going to propose to his girlfriend. But he didn't say it with joy in his voice, or the excitement-tinged trepidation of "will she say yes" or any of the combinations of joy and fear and love that usually accompany that statement. He said it with resignation and a matter-of-factness.
"Really?" I asked, "Wow! I'm..." and before I could finish the statement, he started justifying his decision. He says they're good for each other, that she wants kids, that he might as well do it.
Problem - they're NOT good for each other. They tolerate each other. They don't see eye to eye on so many things it's not even funny. They are oil and vinegar - very good together when shaken up and forced to be, but otherwise very separate even when in the same cruet. I know this because HE has told me.
This leads me to wonder, though, who am I for him to ask my opinion in the first place? I'm honored he trusts my judgment, but really, how much is enough? My "enough" is obviously different from his. I want love, I want passion, I want compassion, I want to "know." He still doubts. But if we're looking for different things, then why should he measure his relationship by my standards, or ask me to?
In true friendship fashion, I will tell him my honest opinion and that in the end, the final decision is his. That I'll support whatever choice he makes and trust that he knows what he's doing. It's not like one drink too many and taking away the keys, where the opinions and actions are cut and dried. These are issues of the human heart, where emotions resonate more strongly than logic at times.
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