Life is not about one single solitary person. It is about how we all interact together. My decisions impact you, and yours me. Even though I am the only person who will look out for my best interests, and you are the only person who will look out for your best interests, neither fact gives any of us the right to act as though the world revolves around us. However, each person must still make decisions in such a fashion as to guard their best interests.
Yes, that's a lesson I've learned the hard way.
That said, society teaches us that in order to properly love another on any level (friend, family, or beloved) we must subsume our desires, wishes and needs to their's, therefore making our well-being secondary.
So my rhetorical question du soir for the collective "you" out there is this:
As one who has spent my whole life giving from the shadows, to my job, to my parents, to my friends....when is it acceptable to take something I want, and expect them to give me support for once? When can I act in my own interest and expect them to condone it? Even if only for an hour... When can I allow my actions to exist as a primary force, and expect you to be acted upon, rather than me to take all of your actions instead?
Anyone?
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7 comments:
i guess society and people are sometimes all crap, useless! i guess one just needs to stop thinking too much and go out there, do their thing without worrying abt being or called selfish!
and i guess ur right in saying we all must look into our interests first! thats the way things hav been and shud be!
wen is it acceptable to take something u want? and get support too? i dont think theres a right time..u choose the moment urself..cant afford to let a whole lifetime go by waiting to get support and approval!
I think people have too short memories, so you should spend your cash as soon as you get it!
I agree with Shitrint. You never know the true time to to get something for yourself. It's okay to be a giver, even if you give all the time. But you should get something back from the person whom your dumping all your energy into to make them feel good.
Mother Theresa gave like no one else, and even she got flowers sometimes to say "thank you".
So treat yourself sometime if no one else if giving back. But make sure to be weary of them. There are people who like to take, and nothing else.
I'm dealing with all this on two different levels. One where it appears I take all the time, but it's circumstances beyond my control. So the one time I do choose to take, I'm told I do this all the time. And in the other, I give all the time. now I'm being given to, and I don't know how to feel about the reversed dynamic of the relationship.
To quote Nike (even thought it loathes me to do do):
Just do it.
Expect the unexpected because you can rarely be assured of anything else.
And plus, sometimes you just deserve it. Give to yourself, and avoid the full-time takers.
Really a good question.
Look out for yourself when you need to, but never EXPECT support for your actions from anyone.
You'll only be disappointed.
And their reaction to your actions is their problem...not yours.
Don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Don't get caught up in drama when you don't receive support from others for taking care of yourself.
Easy to say, hard to do!
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