I thought I had achieved normal I thought I was back to that place where most people begin, but I obviously am not. I just can't keep up. I'm running and trying to catch up and it's just not working. I'm about to be left behind, and no matter what I try, it's just no good. And now it's as though there's an ultimatum on the table....me or you. Past or future. Now or then.
Part of me wants to get indignant because you say you'll be there and then when I need you, you turn cold. However, I just can't be that selfish - I know what you have going on in your life right now and I can't demand that much from you. Maybe I should, though. Maybe I should start. Maybe I should be that person and you'd respect me more. Or at least listen to me more. Then again, it's 4 a-m and I can't sleep...and we all know where decisions made at that hour get us, so perhaps I won't do a thing. But that's what I always do and we see where that had gotten me. It is somewhere I'm happy being though. A life without volatility or ups and downs or much that I couldn't control. Until I met you, and now my life has changed in ways I'm not ready to give up on quite yet. I'm trying.
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