One of These Days, Alice, One of These Days.....

Ladies and Gentlemen, I implore you.

Think about all the people you know. Your parents, your siblings, your spouse. Your best friend, your best man, your best employee. The mailman you greet with a smile at the office. The barista or barkeep who knows your usual when you walk in the door. You.

Chances are quite high that one of you needs a Karmic Kick in the Ass.

The target is anyone who doesn't admit, or doesn't even realize, they are living in an interconnected world where one person's actions impact everyone else. Let me lay out a few examples.

First off, there's a woman we'll simply call Starr (you'll see why in a moment). The day before my vacation, I needed a java jolt to get me through work, so I decided to stop at the Starbuck (get it now?) at the mall. Plenty of parking, no lines at that hour, and I'm good to go. I pull into the parking lot, only to find an H2 bearing down straight at me! after a few quick evasive maneuvers, I'm in the clear, but the driver is shaking her fist at me. Road rage barely existing in my little town, I let it slide and grab the fourth parking space from the door (the first three being handicapped spaces.)

I get out of the car to see Miss Starr climbing out of her H2. Evidently parking beyond the handicapped spaces was beneath her, as her monstrous mode of transportation is in front of the door, blocking both a parked car and the mall entrance, flashers on full speed. She is about 35-40, petite, dressed completely in a black yoga outfit, her hair pullled back into a quite severe ponytail. As we entered the building, she RAN to make sure she was ahead of me in line. And as if this weren't enough, she proceeded to berate the barista because they had to go into hte back to get more vanilla soy milk.

Miss Starr needs a swift karmic kick in the ass.

So does a man we'll call Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith doesn't quite seem to realize that everyone must play by the rules of office politics. You see, our office is staffed day and night. Sometimes, if you want a day off and can't get it the conventional way, you're allowed to switch your shift or your day as long as you're both willing. As anyone who has ever worked in retail or food service or customer service knows...those kind of situations can sometimes come down to "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" and the scratches aren't always tit for tat. Mr Smith doesn't get it...he wanted a night off and asked to switch shifts with my co-worker....just HOURS after turning down a request of hers. Karmic kick in the ass.

Or what about the family I met in the airport. Come to think of it, "met" isn't quite the appropriate verb...how about - who inflicted their voices upon me in the Philadelphia airport! Three of us, stranded overnight because of weather, trying to catch some sleep. We were the only people in the entire three gate area, yet this family...first ones in for the morning....felt the need to ignore every empty bench in the place and sit down next to us. Their kids were cranky and crying, and they were screaming above the children's noise to talk about how they wanted to get on the plane and go back to sleep. And you can't tell me they "didn't see" three women stretched out on airport benches next to them. Kick, please.

I could go on for hours, and probably will come back with more that I've forgotten....but what about you? Who have you encountered who needs that karmic kick in the ass?

(Yes, I got back in, finally!)