Things I Noticed This Weekend

I don't think that I ever have to worry about becoming an alcoholic. I'm a social drinker, and I will have a drink when I'm home if I feel like I'm in the mood for that flavor. But this weekend, I noticed that the worse things get, the less likely I am to want to touch alcohol. I have yet to go on what a friend of mine calls "The Breakup Bender" and the same bottle of wine has been in my refrigerator for weeks now.

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That said, Mango Vodka is too sweet, unless it's had from the freezer with Tom Collins mix.

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I went to my first Jewish wedding this weekend. Although I didn't understand everything (obviously), one thing I really did like was that the couple spent 95% of the ceremony facing those who had come to see them get married. I think I know where it comes from - the bigger emphasis on community versus the closed doors of the family unit - but there's something I like about embracing the community versus standing with your back to the people you've invited to share this special moment.

To me, if they're important enough to share the moment, they shouldn't be looking at her veil and his hair. It's only through the support of others when times get rough that you get through the rough times. So that was an aspect that just struck me.

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I can't tell if my dancing is getting better or worse. Or maybe it's just that I danced with different people and therefore taxed different elements of my abilities. Who knows.

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If you ever dance with me, don't try to lead with my hair!

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If we call raw fish, sushi...what do sharks call raw humans?

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Caveat - since we call sushi after the rice and not the fish, what would we have to be wrapped in for sharks to have a name for raw humans?

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I could BATHE in sunscreen and it wouldn't be enough. There will always be one spot that gets scorched - at least on a person with my complexion.

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Karaoke is even better in large groups. Sometimes it doesn't even need music...just a handful of people who can't get a song out of their head.

Answering a rhetorical question

A slightly deeper post this evening...and I welcome your feedback as well. So sit back, grab a tall one, or a cold one, or a shaken or stirred one, and join the discussion.

For weeks now, a friend has been asking the question, "If you do the right thing for the wrong reasons, is it still right?" He asks everyone he knows, and doesn't offer his own opinion, because he's truly looking for the answer. Everytime he has asked me, I've looked backwards for the answer. I've tried to rationalize different instances where things turned out to be right, or say that it depended on from whose point of view the "right" is determined.

Last night, it hit me. It's not a question of hindsight. It's a question of belief. Not in God or Allah or Vishnu...but in one's own decisions.

When faced with a decision, if you truly choose that which you think is right, you do so because you believe it. "Reasons" do not enter the picture. You do it because you believe it is right, and that IS your reason. Reflection in retrospect allow one to start picking the decision apart, saying, "I thought X and Y so that must be why I chose Z" But at the time, did any of those reasons really cross your mind?

I doubt it.

Opinions? The doctor is in and open for business!

Stereotype...busted!

Road rage doesn't discriminate. ANYONE can get pissed at the way people drive these days.

Want proof? I got some this afternoon.

So I'm leaving Target and sitting that the red light behind a new Ford Five Hundred with a handicapped placard and an elderly couple inside. (Note - I'm very cautious with the use of elderly...but these both had grey hair and gnarled fingers, so I believe I'm accurate here.)

The light turns green. The Ford doesn't move. I'm in no rush, so I wait...however, when no one moves, the sensor trips rather quickly and it's back to red. Okay - one light cycle down. I keep sitting.

The light turns green. The Ford doesn't move. I'm starting to wonder if everything is pkay in the car ahead of me. That and I'm getting ever so slightly impatient (Hey - I can admit my shortcomings!). So I honk the horn.

The brakelights on the Ford go off. As it starts to roll forward, the man at the wheel and his female companion turn to look at me, and the man flips me off!

So much for kindy older gentlemen in the South!

A Clean Sweep

Sometimes I hate to admit Mom was right. It's just part of being human..but this is one of those times I have to tip my hat. Or in this case, my glass.

It amazes me, the calming effect a clean house can have...

The last few months have been ones of absolute upheaval in my life. Topsy-turvy craziness ruled my mind, and my actions, and by extension, my house. Bills got paid, then piled...rather than filed. Clothes cluttered nooks and crannies. Crafts took over the living room, because the kitchen table had been consumed by that notorious paper tiger.

Finally, I'd had enough. That's it! I started with the front door – installed a new one. Most people spent Memorial Day weekend by the lake or the pool. I spent it taming that tiger. The next weekend, I tackled the kitchen. Cleared the counters, the cabinets, the top of the fridge, you name it. Top to bottom clean. Bathrooms too – all three of ‘em.

Next – the living room. Furniture moved, crafts put away...I’ve bought organizational aids and a DVD tower to make it all have a place. And voila...a home uncluttered is a home rediscovered. I was quite embarrassed by the appearance of my home and my state of mind. No one had come over in months. In the last few weeks, I’ve had a dinner party, people over for drinks, and for conversation. It’s just nice! And calming – I don’t feel anxiety crawl up my spine every time I walk in the house anymore. A liberating feeling!

One floor down, one to go. The upstairs still needs lots of work. I’m going through my closet right now, making donations to Goodwill and Salvation Army. Then I’ll tackle the rest of the room. And the computer room, well, I need a shredder and a WEEK to get that taken care of. But I’ll start where I can and go from there. After all, That’s a door I can close.

So here’s to Mom. You were right – a clean house IS more important that I ever gave it credit for. But I draw the line at your old tricks of covering the bed in a project that needs completion. After all, I need SOMETHING to call my own way of doing things!

For the Sunset

Every life needs a witness,
each heart, a listening ear
All weighted minds need a way to escape
so the person inside can take his own shape.

Some have voices that scream to be heard,
their message cried loud and clear.
Some have whispers so quiet and small
their message gets lost in the din of it all.

Regardless of volume, of timbre, of tone,
each thought could spark new fear.
That's why every person who truly pays attention
needs an outside party without condescention

to listen, understand, and uncover the meaning
that's hidden behind each tear.
And with every query seeming to scratch at your soul...
know my only objective is to help you be whole.

I'm thrilled that hope is now in your heart
and liberation feels so near.
And when time and shame no longer bind you,
all I ask...please glance behind you

and remember me standing in your shadows
proud of how you appear,
watching hope spring eternal in the dreams of your heart
as you take first steps for life to start.

Told ya I'm Royalty!

I'm branching out to other blogs again and this morning I went to Clarity of Night. Jason had posted a What Tarot Card are you? test, and we all know my affinity for those little click and tell tests! So I took it. The Result:

I am the Empress: I can't get the code to copy and paste out of a tabbed browser, so I'll have to type out the info. Forgive me for not offering the cool tarot card picture...

You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?

Take the Test to Find Out.

Eureka!

Driving home tonight, I came to a rather odd realization. I think I understand a little more why someone would have a (sober) one-night stand.

When you're drunk, it's one thing. The objective is purely to obtain some part of a member of the opposite sex - his phone number, his tie, his jacket, et cetera. The physical things paired with alcohol - well, we all know what road that travels down. But I'm sober. So where does that leave me?

Tonight, I just didn't want to come home alone. I just didn't want to walk into an empty house and sleep in an empty bed. I've never had the luxury of companionship when we were dating. Yes, a twisted thing, but I was ok with it...I think because I knew it was my choice not to be held or rescued or saved...because I knew it just wasn't right. But now, as times get hard, I don't want to be here alone.

For some people, that need is stronger than for others, and the greater the need, the greater the measures it takes to fill it. My needs are simply cravings...I don't want the sex. I don't want a stranger. However, tonight I would gladly trade emotional strength and pride for comfort. That said, I won't do it, and I'll sleep alone.

Good night