Friday, February 18, 2005

As the Rooster Crows

It's 5:25 in the morning and I'm as awake as if it were 10:25 am. Or 10:25 pm.

I wish I could explain why I'm up. but I can't. My best attempt - there's so much running through my head that there's no turning off my brain. I want to sit and talk with you so much right now, but that's not an option, just as it wasn't yesterday, or the day before, or the day before, et cetera. I'm spending way too much time inside my own head, and I need a way out of the labyrinth.

Even if I could talk to you, I'd make no sense. I can't string together a coherent sentences, nor can I string together sleep into a meaningful cohesive whole right now. I nod off, only to be awakened by a dream or a thought or a feeling, or some other manifestation of this bizarre contradiction of comfort and pain, I can only wait for it all to subside before I try to grab a few more minutes of that precious escape that truly isn't tonight.

No comments: