Thursday, February 03, 2005

Today's Lesson

Knowing you has taught me so much about myself. You've
forced me to examine so many long-held thoughts and beliefs,
both about myself and about the world, and learn to
articulate them for someone else to understand. Today,
you've taught me something else, or at least forced me to
acknowledge it.

I resist affection. I fight the chance of love.

The more I get to know you, the more I see your worth and the
more I push you away. I'm still trying to sort through the
whys and wherefores of it all, but that's pretty much it. I
don't understand how you would care for someone like me, how
you would want to spend your time with me, and I care enough
for you that I try to push you toward something better.

Is it that I need to learn how to be selfish and snatch a
good one for myself? Or is it that I don't know how to be
happy? That's one for another day. After all, learn too
much at once and you get overwhelmed.

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